Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
I have two girls sleeping in my bed naked and I ended up making it to class, what were you saying about staying in on the weekdays?
If you're going to watch porn, can you atleast be considerate and watch it on my old laptop and not the new one?
just found preset five on the shower head...pretty sure my pussy just had a panic attack
I'm not a creep or anything, just a lost soul looking for a good lay
ok, my life is complete.... the cops AND the paramedic just made a Mean Girls reference...
I feel like I've wasted too many painkillers on hangovers
Siri makes being stoned even easier. I don't even Have to type my texts myself
Though I typed a half of that one
I just want to eat and sleep til I'm dead. I should've been born a cat.
you know that moment when all the alcohol kicks in and suddenly you realize the bar is very loud and you just want to bite someone sexy and ride their face i am kinda at that moment
I might volunteer to give breath samples on the 17th where I would be required to get drunk and then give samples! THE POLICE WOULD PAY ME AND PROVIDE THE ALCOHOL!
It wouldn't be New Years Eve if we knew where we would be at midnight
If you find my integrity anywhere, please tell it to come back home
short story short, i just screamed anal seepage in the middle of a diner.
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
Randomize
