I might get fired at work today. I had to prioritize. It's not my fault Cockasaurus came over.
we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
he ate 15 dinner rolls and nothing else. then took a shit in the bathroom came out and blamed it on his dad. i wish i was 8.
I didn't want to talk to him so I just started telling him how important Jesus was to me
I faked it too. I just spit on your bed.
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
you know its bad when everytime i put on a shirt i think of who i hooked up with in it
Eating my shrimp pasta on the porch with a 40, wearing a Hawaiian shirt, proclaiming "I GOT SCRIMPS." I just jumped the shark of college.
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
I resisted the urge to announce that it looks like a big crystal butt plug
His dad and I had a drunk conversation about life. At 4 am he told me that I was 21 and cute and should fuck whoever I want.
I think I'm pregnant again.
or as we call it, thursday.
Your parents are gone and we haven't fucked in their bed... why?
its official, you're fucking me on my lunch break. the only thing I want in my mouth is your dick. pick me up at noon.
want fries with that?
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
Randomize
