I am swimming in semen. He must have been holding it in for a special occasion.
whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
He doesn't need a wingman, he needs a miracle
I put labels all over the house on things I think are mine. A cactus, the dog, and a bottle of wine.
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
I seriously think I got run over last night.. My sides are bruised and I got a ride home in the limo from the office.
I was like a damn cattle dog, I separated all the sheep, I can wing man for anyone on this campus.
I cannot describe the pre-ejaculative horrors thru the medium of text messaging
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
If a cougar buys you pizza and wants to show you her newly-won house, you have sex with her. It's the law. Just being all the man I can be dude
Well I woke up and my arm was bleeding. And my blood is on the wall in the hallway.
Umm
No idea. I blame fireball.
Valid.
We decided to try to steal hot dogs but it ended up with me punching him in the face and crying. Pretty solid night
The sex is great, I just think it'd be better if we listened to Deftones during it.
Showing girls my stab wound was not the brilliant idea I thought it was.
Are you trying to say I've made an emotionally well rounded transformation similar to the Grinch?
Randomize
