420 ftw
this is ridiculous... i look like a white version of MC Hammer...
if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
I tried doing a handstand in the middle of the bar and I ended up kicking this old guy in the face and broke his glasses. Thats how I got kicked out
I just found your spare underwear and the half eaten granola bar you left in my purse.
it would be nice to just get drunk, not hook up with anyone, and not die this weekend
Attention ladies coming to the party tonight! Tonight will be another chance to win the 5 bucks for getting my cousin hard. Bring your a-game, no one has been able to overcome the whiskey dick yet. Good luck.
I stole a fireplace last night.
I just debated creating a mirror system so I could play Batman while in the bathroom. I think I need help.
I already knew that. But I also don't agree with stifling creativity.
So is it safe to say that my only objective from last night is to finish this entire jar of peanut butter?
I peed my pants walking home last night... I just kept walking.
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
In other news I think my vagina is sunburnt
Last night was a whirlwind of vodka - induced emotion
Why were u walkin around mc with a toilet bowl lid handcuffed to u and carrying a stuffed Teddy bear last night?
Randomize
