I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
I just won Halloween Walk of Shame Bingo!
so just incase I die tonight I'm making a list of people that I don't want to be let in to my funeral
just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
I just got cash back from buying a pregnancy test so that I can buy a case of joose. My life is in shambles.
Which genius got me a voicemail of myself puking?
I deleted my history right in front of my girlfriend w/out her seeing. Let's go skydiving with no parachutes. I can live thru anything.
Drink a bottle I wine by yourself? Treat yo self
You what they say. One dick in the hand is better than two in the bush
We were kinda loud so his roommate woke up and to make up for it he invited him to a threesome. I can't drink whiskey anymore.
I was using my Beauty and the Beast blanket as a makeshift skirt because no pants
I only drink at bars with bathrooms big enough to have sex in.
My goal is to have my roommate find me sprawled out in the middle of my floor naked and passed out. Maybe with some Alfredo chicken hanging out of my mouth. I don't know, we'll see where this goes.
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
Randomize
