then he goes, "ok, i have to go talk to the girl i'm semi-talking to/dating and see if i'm in trouble" WHAT IS MY LIFE?!
Let's just say he looked at my vagina like it was a rubics cube.
He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
I thought his dick was headless. then I pulled back the foreskin.
Its not even 10am and we are talking about what guys assholes we would finger.
it's a "shave your legs in the cvs bathroom" kind of night
Down at Ground Zero right now. So many people here. It's the most patriotic game of grabass Ive ever seen.
No one figured out why I brought along the vibrating massager.
I can't even look at my running shoes. I swear I drank more in the last 2 days than the last 6 months combined
I know this is really fun but I don't wanna glow anymore
I'm rearranging all my life goals to become a billionaire by 28 and batman by 30. Not kidding.
I deserve to be covered in dicks
He's like... An octopus that touches my vagina in all these diff ways at the right times. It's almost unsettling
I accidentally sent my dad a very explicit Star Wars fanfiction and he replied with "That was great!"
Best night if my life? Time I got eaten out in the backseat of a M5 while eating White Castle. Then he fucked me. Perfect
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