Apparently you walked through my house with your dress on your head
I just bought a large Pizza and Xanex in the same store...my night is complete
I mean, it really isn't YOUR car until you have sex in it.
nutella sex= disaster
Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
When I start puking tomorrow, just let me be. it'll start around 8:35. just let me heave. i love this part of my morning.
We are lost and the only things we have are peanut brittle, cookies and vodka. I think we'll make it.
Just blew my age on the breathalyzer. I also have 8 stitches in my head. So worth a .22 though. All time record.
Since he's sober and out of jail, he acts like we are the worst people on Earth. Fuck him, the only acceptable time in life to do coke is the early twenties. He won't take that from us.
This is how baked we were last night. Our drinking game: We stare at each other; first one to laugh drinks.
I did coke with the Royal Navy last night. God save the queen.
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
I would really like it if you guys got out of my bush
the cop found his r2d2 bong and asked me if i ever smoked out of him. i'm like, no sir. he's like ahh. if i were to smoke, it'd definitely be out of some star wars character.
easily made my night.
I just puked into a clean basket of laundry.
Randomize