he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
Mmmm, vodka for breakfast
(917) i just came from walking.
haha you just came from walking?
vagina is talking i cant
Last night when I was hammered I set a reminder to tell you that your boobs are my favorite ones in the world, so this is me giving you that message.
Why would vodka do this to me? I've always been loyal
Where can I buy a trophy for a Groupie Award?
She had sex with a merch guy. . . band guys make you groupies, Merch guys just means she's easy.
Like if I don't roll around in my puke, the night will be a failure.
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
Someday, but I will be heavily drugged and there will be no dolphins.
she has like 12 pairs of underwear people left at her house from the other night
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
Think I was still drunk when I woke up cause I went and bought a mandolin
avocado toast wont fix the fact you did a bunch of blow you fucking hipster
Accidentally made a bowl of macaroni and cheese with a bottle of vodka. It's not that bad
Randomize
