I just ate 10 fun sized 3 musakteers.. I'm pretty sure I'm about to start my period.
Talk to you next week
I took off my clothes and she wanted to have sex. But then she changed her mind. So we ended up fucking through her panties or something. I don't know it was weird.
I checked for jungle juice on Weight Watchers. they didn't have it.
Just gave my little brother the collection of clothes that boys have left in my room since I've been in college for his birthday.
I'm in my winter jacket and nothing else. very drunk. bring bitches.
the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
please don't fuck her on my bed i'm too poor for laundry quarters
Hypothetically how does one go about throwing away a dildo?
If the river was whiskey, it would be the best river ever.
I shaved my pussy for you. If you complain about a single hair that I missed again, you will be greeted by a bush the next time you go down on me and i will MAKE YOU KEEP GOING
The problem with drugs is that there's none in this hotel
The problem with drugs is that showing my boobs only gets so much of them
Your vagina is not a steamboat from the 1800's
The stripper was super into me until she pulled out my tits then I realized.... This bitch is just using my ass to get MORE TIPS
If people had ratings on Tinder I'd give you 5 out of 5 stars.
Sent. All. My. Texts. Like. This. Last. Night. Thank. You. Weed. Also. Had. A. Dream. About. A. Serial. Killer. That. Killed. Everyone. Except. Me. And.
Randomize
