ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
i was rollin on her like bob the builder
i had the deer in headlights look when she walked in and i was digging in her hamper
As of tonight I have officially had sex during every Disney movie.
im pretty sure thats the first step to being a pedafile
Tonight we are playing Scuba-Keg. Getting keg now. I'll explain when i get home.
At least they aren't charging us for the broken diving board...
She literally crushed my balls between her butt cheeks. It was both the greatest and worst thing ever. Dancers are awesome.
He also informed us that it's rude to shove your tit in someone's mouth. Happy Monday.
The pigeons can smell the fear
Wtf
Yeah everyone's alive and well besides the still terrifying threat of Ted's conception of a human being
Eating a chocolate bar and crying over a cobweb. Life is beautiful and I love shrooms.
I'm not sure what happened last night but my dog has a red cup taped to his back with a little beer and a ping pong ball in it..
We invented a new game.
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.
are you inviting me to ice cream?
the subtext of everything i say to you is inviting you to ice cream
Randomize
