i miss you and i wish you were peeing between my legs right now. in a platonic way
one should ask oneself what kind of lifestyle one is leading when one finds a handprint of semen on their pillow the next day.
He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
he was banged his ex for coke the whole time and is still the best guy so far this year. standards need to be raised.
Im also drinking whiskey while on a treadmill wearing high heels so let's consider that for a moment.
I have green food coloring in my hair and just got a text from "Guy in the Yard"...so this morning is going just as you might imagine.
Brilliant thought; pill pong.
What could go wrong?
I send him pictures of my tits whenever I feel like he's paying too much attention to his girlfriend.
I also witnessed that same parrot perched on the head of a man grinding with a girl.
Interesting. As a girl I don't know how okay I would be with that.
She seemed pretty into it.
How do you leave a condom wrapper under my mom's pillow...
This may not be the best moment to laugh, but I am.
So did I or did I not flash an entire concert last night?
I JUST SENT A TOILET SELFIE TO THE WRONG PERSON.
She was a little thick, but we banged on the beach and fireworks went off as we finished so I think God wanted it
I'm not too sure what happened last night, but by the looks of it, we must have gotten drunk with zebras.
Randomize
