a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point?
unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going.
He compared my vagina to the first time he tried cocaine
sometimes i think my sole purpose in life is to cockblock my roommate
When that rick ross song came on he started ripping up dollar bills and pouring out drinks on the floor. I'm all for ignorance but it was a little excessive for a wedding
She was puking in a plastic bag while cleaning where she puked on the floor. She knows how to multitask.
that's like... drinking popov and saying its the worlds best vodka. you gotta try some others first. THERE SHOULD BE A MISS AMERICA PAGEANT. but like, mr penis. and they can do tricks and make unintelligent remarks and wear sparkly condoms.
It was the best present I've gotten since I was 5 and I got a fucking easy bake oven. I'm not pregnant for realsies. Celebratory party at the house tonight. Invite all the nice dicks you know.
Oh and in case you were wondering it is not a good idea to eat weed brownies and then go out to the bar. When I got off the bar stool my high had just hit me and I felt like Bambi taking his first steps
He can spot Burberry from half a bar away. He's not into vag
I told your dad we had a nice lunch and hung out for awhile. It seemed more appropriate than "I had a bite of his canned chili and then we ripped each others clothes off."
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
I don't believe in coincidence. I believe in the stars aligning perfectly to sodomise me in public. Who ever said I was cynical?
I just found out two girls I dated met each other, bonded over how much they hate me, started dating and are gonna get married soon.
You threw up in your own shoe then wore it home
He's on the porch naked. Help.
Randomize
