Having a random hookup so left but love u
I wish I had more reasons to start sentences with the phrase, "Here's the thing you've got to remember about cougars ...
so. which one of us is going to pay for the neighbors new window? it cracked when i threw the bottle at it but smashed when you threw yours.
12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
he gave me a new purse full of weed and five boxes of samoas for my birthday. best boyfriend ever.
Just hook me up with your dad already stop being selfish
You know how most people would take your keys when they don't want you to leave a party? Those 2 girls aren't most people. They took my pants instead.
Kid got laid mid-party wearin a fuzzy hat with ears and 40's taped to his bear paws... wtf
Based on your 5AM twitter activity I gather you found MORE FREE COKE??
Just letting everyone know that I am still alive after last night. On a related note, this is the 15th "I'm not dead!" mass text I've sent. You've got to celebrate the little things.
Lesson: Never rollerskate with a 40 in your hand unless you have a destination.
Shia LaBeouf arrested in austin for public intoxication. JUST DO IT
If my plane goes down do me a favor. Break into my house and get the batman costume and swing out of my bedroom.
He lives 20 minutes away driving distance and decided to walk. I talked to him today and he took a nap along the way... In a cemetery.
The day will come again young grasshopper. For now you must complete your training of patience and tongue biting
Randomize
