Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
What I lack in compassion I make up for in lack of compassion
my one-armed grandma is doing the YMCA. you figure it out.
I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.
I convinced a girl to do a shot of salsa someone fell through the whole on the porch and Sara swallowed a beer tab
She told me to stay away from him cause apparently he fucks anything that walks. clearly i responded with..."i walk"
he broke up with me while standing outside, half naked, waiting to fuck him. i feel like a leper right about now.
Note to self: don't jizz on a surface cleaned with Tilex. It WILL turn purple.
New policy: when a woman uses the word blowjob in a sentence within 5 minutes of meeting her, you buy her a drink.
where's my purse there's an important taco in it
I will not remember tonight for the most part. This text will be evidence. You can and probably will use this against me.
Are the homeless actually allowed to bathe in fountains located on Main Street in downtown Houston? Can Houston TX be so progressive as to condone public bathing?
IN OTHER NEWS did you guys see Orlando Bloom's penis today? I did
You know when your cat drags a dead bird into the the house as a present and drops it at your feet looking all pleased because it thinks you'll be pleased? That's what sex with him was like.
Randomize
