I called her the wrong name twice and she still called me back this morning. DO I still wait two days to call her back?
i just borrowed 5 dollars from my eight year old sister. i'm at a new low
Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
I love you. And by the way. I found out a way for you to train your gag reflex. Elliot taught us in math.
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
With the amount of g's you put on going I'm gonna guess you're drinking alone again
At one point I thought we were going to have to fuck our way out of their apartment
It all went downhill when I figured out I could launch myself into people with my crutches
His baby mama found the pictures of us, she couldn't see my face but she could see my asshole. So I'm safe.
Whatever you have to do, STALL THEM. Your toothbrush is in the kitchen, my pants are on the balcony, and I don't have eyebrows.
I fell out of the car while it was moving then got puked on then puked and cried about then got back in the car and puked out the window when we started moving again
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
I cannot believe I accepted his penis into my body.
Drunk version of me is like a sleeping demon inside of me that awakes to the sound of vodka
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
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