I Just realized that having a picture folder that says "not for mom" may give off the wrong impression to wondering eyes
you dragged me by my throat over to the shots. this is a new level of alcoholism..
im sorry but you know it was a good night when you got tasered on the ass and didnt even feel it
The Vegas crew is in two groups, Team Vodka and Team Fireball. There is no winner in this.
Nobody is stopping the marines from drinking in class on veterans day. They literally brought a cooler with a bottle of whiskey and vodka on ice. And are passing out red cups to anyone interested. Staying in Vegas for college has officialy become an A+ decision
I would not be 19 again if you paid me. Guess who found naked pictures of themselves? Fuck cocaine
Every time I there's a break up, I'm left with an animal. That's it. No more mutual pets.
TIL a potato cannon can be loaded with dildos as ammunition. Boy, do our neighbours love us!
I woke up at like 4 am with an old Korean woman cuddling me. I assure you she was not there when I went to sleep.
I do NOT want my proposal story to start "...he was peeing on me and then..."
Why do I have a wristband from the birthing center at the University of Maryland hospital....
I went in for a high five.. He went in for a kiss.. Today is a good day
Got my period and a UTI on the same day. Fuck you, Sunday.
These guys are just fucking with my heart instead of fucking me. They're fucking up.
I woke up in a bathtub full of green and blue Nickelodeon slime! wtf?!
Randomize
