Haym$ered
turn off your phone and go to bed
I have a dream, to one day wake up next to a girl, walk to the washroom and kick her kids toys out of the way. That day has come, yes we can.
You were so drunk last night you typed www.face.come/cheese.com as if you were logging into facebook.
Just got kicked in the balls by a girl in tap shoes. Fuck EVERYTHING
Just tried to tap morse code on the wall seperating our beds to tell you I was awake and ready to smoke
The vibrator you gave me is probably the one thing I will never give up if we got robbed at gunpoint
MTV Made just made me cry. Where have all of my life goals gone?
I just want you to know if you wake up tomorrow morning and wreak of mustard, I was not involved.
The trip involved octopus tentacles coming from the little holes in my TV's speakers. The beauty of the nonexistant symbolism had me in tears.
Right, because I totally see myself driving all the way down there to fuck his world famous penis.
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
RE-DICK-YOU-LUSSSSS
That's me emphasizing the ridiculous
My Midnight Kiss was a Big Mac.. Happy New Year
well you don't shave your pubes into a handlebar mustache and keep the party to yourself
I'm just the girl with the breathalyzer keychain, and I embrace that.
Randomize
