I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
The girl sitting next to me in class is writing her to-do list under the title 11/31.
I just opened a bunch of old flavored condoms just to see what they tasted like.
does anyone know how to get red sharpie out of a white cat?
I think rendering her infertile would be a valid community service project
You ordered 6 boxes of pizza and laughed in the pizza guys face when you didn't pay for any of them.
Why do the people I hook up with still exist after we're done?
Great news! In less than 2 hours, I'm ripping your underwear off with my teeth!
Shouting "one vagina to rule them all" was probably not the best way to meet our best mates fiance
Not sure. He doesn't know where New York is on a map but he gives an incredible spanking.
Who cares about New York?
I smoked out of two pipes at the same time while my friends wielded the lighters last night. It felt like I graduated to the next level of stoner.
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
Yeah apparently i called the bartender a "fucking prison warden" after she took my keys and called me a cab
You know what...ii have the turtles...were together....i love these god damn turtles...
He said my vagina smelled like pomegranates. Its like my vagina is the fountain of youth.
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