I just googled "whats above a trillion", thats how busy I am at work.
imagine how many guys you'd have sex if you didn't recieve your monthly gift.
I swear every time I make the effort to make my hair look nice, someone jizzes in it.
I was batman and I saved her. Then we had sex on a rooftop.
My first sex dream, I blew myself. Yours definitely wins.
What color are my eyes?
Ummmm... 34 C?
I stole a fireplace last night.
This is going to be one of those "I can only do this high" classes
I sobered up in the middle of it, that I was hooking up with him in a rosemary bush. I woke up smelling like a pasta dish
I had one glass of wine then passed out for 4 hours. It's like I'm having a quarter-life crisis.
You also hate cartoons and musicals, so I will take that to mean the movie was as awesome as I thought it was..smoke weed
It's def pee. WHY DO I PEE ON THINGS WHEN I DRINK TEQUILA
Also-when I die, I want it to be with my arms above my head so that when rigor mortis sets in, my breasts are perky.
May the power of my ass compel you!!
It was horribly awesome. Its like looking at the sun, you know its bad for you but I just couldn't stop looking.
All I can remember from last night was eating nutella and touching myself to Weird Science.
Randomize
