just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
either way he was missing a nipple.
I'm 99% sure I high fived a girl over mashed potatoes last night
thanks for celebrating my birthday so severely 2 years ago. i just found your hospital discharge papers in my closet.
anything for my little brother.
The only thing that was weird was that it WASN'T weird when she got out of the shower and saw me blowing him.
Hey remember that spam cooked in dr pepper we made? 10x better when the dr pepper is rum
It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
I didn't know how wild the party was going to be until one girl brought her pet raccoon
You came in last night, ate an entire avocado in silence, and then told me I should never accept rides from strangers. Not sure I even want to know what happened to you last night!
I HAD TO TAKE A SHOT OF JAGER AND SOME REDBULL JUST TO SEE IF IT’LL MAKE MY MOUTH FEEL BETTER
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
We decorated the tree, drank wine, and he went down on me with Christmas music on in the background. Christmas IS coming.
I tied him up for his boyfriend so he could get fisted... I'm the best roommate ever.
Wow. That's certainly more than I've ever done for a roommate.
if I start to respond to these political texts with a middle finger emoji - do you think they will get the hint?
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