We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
Nah got too drunk to function...probably could have dragged something home over my shoulder if the cops didn't roll
I guess there's a 50 percent chance that it was her that wet my bed.
Life lesson: using the oven as a heater= $500 electric bill
Had a drunk dream about being in a six story taco bell. Oh my god the menu was incredibleeee
i'm pretty sure the only people calling it "sexting" are ones who don't actually do it
Operation liquormelon is in full effect. We may die tonight.
He gave up on mugging us when Dave wouldn't stop laughing. He was wiggling his finger at the knife and making baby noises and giggling. The guy just walked away.
He was president of his frat and had a clap on disco ball in his room... or course I slept with him
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
We joked about how funny it would be if he got pulled over with 300 breakfast burritos in hus car. We walk outside of the school just as the police lights turn on and pull him over
Matt and I's climactic adventure has ended with Matt being hauled off to jail. And now his brother and I are having lunch and a beer.
The only times we have to apologize in this friendship is when you intentionally punch me and that's only happened once so it's okay
Remember the golden rule, wine is for baths, and beer is for showers.
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
Randomize
