You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
I just wanna not walk straight. Is that too much to ask for?
Even tho I saw his penis. He is still a really nice guy.
You don't have to believe me. My vagina knows it happened.
You know what my problem is? I'm like a machine designed for the sole intention of removing the pants from damaged girls.
Just played slippy cup. Flip cup plus slip n slide. What did you do with your fourth of july?
I've already agreed to hook up with 3 people tonight, and its not even 2:00 yet... I think this is what the path to success looks like.
Listen I'm a sentimental character under all this alcohol and ratchetry
They tried to dine n dash at dennys and the waiter jumped on their car and broke their windshield
My friends son got stung by a jellyfish over the weekend and we seriously stood there debating on whether or not we should pee on this toddler.
Might be using my graduation money to pay for an abortion.
Go to a building you've never been before and take a shit. It's marvelous
Me and my liver are not on speaking terms.
Hungover. No words. Just memes.
I'm at a sex party and there's a guy in an ICP jersey and trip pants. I see now that this is the moment in the movie of my life I recognize I have a problem
Randomize
