yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
i have nine cents in my fucking bank account... not even a dime
This is why you don't make out with cougars at a bar... I got a linkedin request from her, wtf?
I just smoked a bowl in the dining room and am now drinking a glass of chocolate milk. i can't believe i'm getting paid for this.
Well i have to fuck at least one of your roommates this year to keep the tradition alive.
You guys need to get along, there is no need for a pissing contest...We're all fucking each others ex's.
You took a bar mat shot.
just letting you know that jen either: wasn't feeling well and ate grass to make herself throw up or threw up because she's stupid and ate grass
Hi, this is a test of the morning after apology broadcast system. If you're receiving this pre-recorded message there is a high probability I was a dickwad to you in the past 24 hours. You have my utmost and sincere apologies. Also if you have my wallet, house key, left converse, or lighter, give them/it back
Also, if you all get arrested i'm coming to laugh at you because i don't have the money for bail.
I went home with a guy last night because he showed me some magic tricks and kept shouting "THEY'RE ILLUSIONS MICHAEL!"
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
I don't trust a bar IN TENNESSEE that doesn't have Jack Daniels.
I walked so much yesterday and I was like holy fuck I need to do some cardio apart from sex cause this is ridic
too bad burritos don't cuddle back
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