Watching marley and me... this girls got me whipped man
I knew her barely 30 minutes before we got naked. This whole fraternity thing is starting to grow on me...
I told the girl who was peeing in the garbage can she must have had a lot of upper body strength.
They got their marriage license when they were at the courthouse for her arraignment.
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
It was so weird. She left to go to the bathroom and her older sister leaned towards me with a creepy smile and said, "You don't deserve her" and then continued to stare at me with a crazy expression for the rest of the evening.
That's kinky shit dude.
We can't be fuck buddies. You stare into my eyes while we fuck.
Yo plow her in the living room were all outside tommy wants to see
I don't think she considers it a date unless she publicly urinates
i wore a power symbol belly button ring just so i can drunkenly tell him that he turns me on. i dont care if it works i think its classy
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
Those nachos came to me in a dream
That's like a fucking falcon or some shit. I don't know birds but I know that is not a bird you fuck with.
What did we do lastnight that resulted in a $1,896 charge on my credit card with a $2,000 limit
He said watch this and then went and tripped into a group of 40 year old women, now he's leaving the club with them.
Randomize
