great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
Just saw a cop issuing a DUI. At 3 pm. It's definitely the start of winter break.
The mexican place next the the funeral home has dollar margaritas, our grandfather would want us to act on this... trust me i know.
all i asked was if it was all the way in, and now im laying here alone. sensitive guys fucking suck
Apparently I joined a band last night. Definitely my favorite blackout.
Jenny was looking for something soft to drink since it's only noon, she chose spiced rum. Think she might die today
hooked up with the gay kid & his friend's mom told me "you know he has a identical twin brother whose straight, right?"
God I love incriminating evidence...wonder what the statue of limitations is on shitting on someones driveway
I can't decide if this outfit makes me look like a pirate. I also can't decide if I care if it does.
At this point, I wouldn't be surprised if he laughs at all of our attempts to keep him sober.
Yep that's the face of someone whose dick I would put in my mouth without hesitation
My roommate just threatened to kill me with my own pan. Can I ever get away from the crazies?!
They weren't kidding when they said "Go Army Strong." Best sex I ever had.
I haven't lost it. I know I'm not a prophet. It was a joke.
After the edible you claimed you were talking to my cat. We're in our 30s now, what was once cute is now a liability.
I'm peeing on your house...you up?
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