So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
I answered the door to some Jehovah Witnesses hungover and wearing nothing but a white tshirt. I think they made it the church goal to reform me, we've gotten four pamphlets. My mom's going to make me convert if they keep coming.
I think i smell like relationship. That's my problem.
Congratulations!! You are the WINNER of a brand new BLOWJOB!! You can collect your prize between the hours of 12pm and 1pm today, anywhere you'd like!!! :)
I found his retainer in my ass crack. It smells like shame.
I know. He gave me a hug and i was like jesus i can just feel the std through your sweatshirt
It's like a squid of pain has attached to my head and it spreading it's whorey tentacles all over.
i'm about to be the still-drunkest person on the ellipticals
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
I woke up this morning with a tampon in my nose and food EVERYWHERE...
Let's just says his mouth writes a lot of checks that his penis just can't cash. Don't waste your time.
I'm out of milk so I'm dunking my Oreos in Bailey's; this is my life now.
Just calling to thank you for not dying. I love you.
Nice classy night out before we roll our faces off
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