Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
It's fine actually... I'm pretty sure he had the crookedest weiner in the world anyway.
Like he had it hanging in the wind and you just decided, "nope, I don't think that one's for me." ????
God no! I could just feel it. His clock said it was 8:00 when, clearly, it should have been midnight.
We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
i'm in his phone as sushi coochie
just saw bouncers outside a coffee shop. beginning to question humanity.
im pretty sure you tried to fart so bad you accidently pissed your pants at my party.
yeah so our basement was flooded 4 feet. we just smoke and drank and then went swimming. gotta make the best out of it
I had a guy present me his prison release form this morning as id
nothing says "functioning mature adult" like sneaking beer out of your mom's fridge in a lunchbox
my last clear memory of the night was being offered a shot but having so much alcohol in my hands that someone literally had to pour it in my mouth for me. after that it pretty much skips to waking up face down and shirtless on my floor.
I just had a flashback to the three of us in the bed and me shouting AM I THE BIGGEST OR LITTLEST SPOON?!
i woke up in just my socks. my clothes were outside, he had rugburn on his elbows, and a window was broken.
I may or have may not just taken a swig out of a jar of alfedo sauce in my fridge. Dont judge me
Stop chatting and get in the fucking car. I didn't get my asexual ass out of bed just to watch you flirt and fail with someone you're never going to see again.
you ripped my door off of the hinges, kicked it in half and then proceeded to throw it down the stairs because i wouldn't make you a cheese burger
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