i miss you so much
i miss you too
oops, did i send that to you? i meant to send it to the money you owe me
Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
Sooo, his balls are like... bigger than my head...
Well, of course, to the untrained eye I look like a slut.
They should try giving mcdonalds to cancer patients because it just cured the worst hangover ive ever had
I think "banned from Amtrak due to excessive projectile vomiting" would sum up the evening quite nicely.
We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was
She carries a brick in her purse. I wouldn't get in a fight with her
What sexual position says im sorry for your loss?
Basically one minute I'm sucking on her nipples and then 45 mins later we're at work and she's my boss.
There aren't enough words in the English language to fully describe how worried I am for your dick. And the rest of you, I suppose.
There is a reason my most meaningful relationship since 2012 has been with Duracel...
Will you be doing the frenzied booty dance of passionate ownage on my penis tonight
he put a condom on for a handjob WTF
You’re better off without him. Actually, he’s better off without you and that’s what really matters
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