it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
so he tried to quietly tell me my Tampon String was hanging out in front of his family but i didn't hear him so he yelled it
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
Theres dried jager, barbecue sauce and frie remnants all over my front seat.
I'll make a Jello mold of your face so everyone can get drunk off your face
Announcement: Given the sad circumstances regarding the death of my dearest friend Chong the Bong, there will be a brief memorial service for him tomorrow evening at 10:30 at my place. After sharing some memories and sending his spirit off to the great bowl in the sky, we will all take place in the commemoration and maiden voyage of his son, Chong Squared, who eagerly waits to meet all of you. High blessings to you all, piece be with you.
You take your time. Wallowing in last nights filth is the best way to get over a hangover
You kept asking the bartender if you could "buy a dollar".
Just found out my rents have been paying my siblings to cockblock me for the past 5 years
Not as covert as you thought huh?
Hot dogs and hydrocodine is NOT the combo of champions
I snapchatted him nudes and he didn't screenshot a single one of them because he's a gentleman.
the fact that you trapped hornets in a mailing tube to put in his mailbox does not surprise me sadly.
You are ridiculously similar to a unicorn, and I want to fuck that unicorn.
I'm going to go ahead and refrain from sexting you in an airport that is currently at a "level orange" security threat.
Did u puke in a church parking lot? And go to the wrong funeral yesterday? Lol
Randomize
