hot girl, 5 o clock
do you know how to read a clock?
i bet even starving children in Africa take the crust off their poptarts
I just figured I'd let u know that you bought a yacht on ebay last night
I just headbutted my cat because he was trying to eat my bacon.
We fucked in my basement while hiding from the cops.. And now his Facebook picture is him and others holding up there MIP's in front of my house.. I feel obligated to add him as a friend.
we drunkly made out in the middle of the street beside the homeless guy playing the flute. Not how I imagined our first kiss.
We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
Day drunk and a can of soup and wine straight from the bottle and alone and on my kitchen floor.
So I found the perfect "Yeah I gained weight since high school but it went to all the right places" outfit for the reunion this weekend.
can't believe I traded a good night's sleep and a midterm for your blurry tits
I wish I cared about making my vagina as presentable as you do.
It's fun yes. But hard on the body. I woke up with her purse, socks and one of her shoes in my room. The other shoe was outside. What the fuck were we doing last night?
Literally got mad at him this morning because we didn't have time to have sex for a third time. I think I'm getting greedy.
just woke up on a lounge chair wearing a durag and holding burrito wrappers in my hands
You know getting black out drunk at a cats birthday party should have been my lowest point drinking wise but some how I feel like last night was some how worse
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