And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
I passed out in the cab. Woke up to the cabby yelling SIR SIR WE ARE AT THE TRAIN STATION!! SIRRRR!!
I just spent the last two hours on the phone with Emily trying to explain to her how to finger herself.
not only did i soak my thesis by spilling celebratory shots on it, but i also stained it with lipstick making it obvious i tried to drink the vodka off it......dgaf, worth it.
He never gives up. He's like the fucking little engine that could of hook ups
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
I think you're too young for vagina rejuvenation but I guess you have never been one to listen. Sounds good! You bring the Percocet ill bring the vodka!
I haven't been motivated enough for a shirt. And only half the day was bra-worthy.
I like her. She smells like old lady but tastes like whiskey
thanks again for a nice night (and please don't fuck my boss)
He knocked me in the face with the phone during my light show. Didn't even feel it. Ecstasy is amazing
I didn't want to hook up with him so I just jumped out of bed, yelled "I don't even believe in god!" and ran out of the room
BTW, Julia referred to you as a power bottom. Are you available?
Well, we all woke up in drag with no memory of why we were in drag. On the plus side, this shade of lipstick looks really good on me.
I don’t know if I’m nauseous or just disgusted with myself.
Randomize