I just remembered before I gave him head I couldn't find a hair tie and he offered to hold my hair up. Maybe we were wrong.. Maybe he does have a heart.
i just put all of my beerlympics medals into my academic awards box. i would say they are my greatest achievement since college.
So basically i got outta bed and started peeing on the a/c unit..when my roommate tried to stop me i looked at him and said "i got this"
i don't know at this point bringing the fog horn might be a good idea...
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
Sometimes one must go to great lengths and make great sacrifices to get drunk. I willingly accept the challenge.
I think I'm coming down now. I almost started crying because I lost a piece of paper.
Chef at hibachi place learned it was my bday and sprayed 20 second count worth of saki in my mouth. Not sure it was the right image to share with my kids, but thought you'd be proud.
Make sure you have everything youll need until sunday. aka a green shirt and condoms.
He said you stopped mid-fuck, called fives on his dick, walked out to grab another drink, and came back.
Me and a 30 year old man are sitting in my bathtub in swimsuits drinking straight rum from the bottle. Don't tell me how fucked up your Christmas is.
God he's so convenient, drugs, an parties all in one person. He's like the Walmart of delinquency.
She left her panties here. They looked SOOO much smaller last night.
Duuuuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fruuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fuuuck
It's done, I'm done, goodbye veneer of class and dignity it was nice knowing you
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