Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
Had a couple pieces of pizza for breakfast...suck on that Jamie Oliver.
Were driving two hours to st louis so we can pee on the arch. See you in the morning. I might be sober by then.
Dude. It just hit me for a second time. My thumbs are huge and moving very quickly. Like stampeding buffalo...
I don't want to be with anyone who doesn't accept me for who I am. eating cheeseburgers in bed is my favorite activity.
you regret 100% of the tequila shots you do take. thats what gretzky meant to say
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
Maybe I can find a straight girl rehab camp, like the opposite of those degaying camps, where they teach me how to love the ladies instead
Omg. I would pay ALL OF THE MONEY for that camp.
I WOLD FCUK YUO INTOO THE MOON
THE MOOOOOOOON
You threw up on his face 22 hours ago and now he's here holding your hand. I think he likes you.
I just saw your brother in some random persons yard climbing a tree. Just saying.
Probably on drugs.
Yeah but the jokes on her right? We just got a new couch and hers still has a cum stain on it from like six months ago
I kept falling all over the place and yelled at the bouncer you can't kick me out I'm from Texas.
She shouldn’t care what consenting adults do behind closed doors
You do realize it was her husband you were hooking up with behind that door, right?
Randomize
