I'm fucking him on the second date. I don't give a fuck what Patti Stanger says.
The little things make me happy. Little dicks do not.
If her picture on my phone wasn't mostly of her breasts, I'd never pick up the phone when she calls.
I was just "that girl you seen blowing some dude outside when you drove by"
I'm so sick
I would imagine. You did most of your drinking for brazil last night.
That and I think I got food poisoning from sharing nachos with that homeless guy..
Post-sex nachos deserve a song.
You made a course evaluation for your vagina? Wow. You really are a professor now.
STOP WHATEVER YOU ARE DOING AND GO OUTSIDE RIGHT NOW. THE MOON LOOKS LIKE CATWOMAN
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
i was thinking shit as she was saying it. it was a sarcasm time loop
I just want to give face wipes a shout out for being there when im too tired or high to wash my face at night
You should be able to leave recommendations on Tinder.
I feel like there's def a learning curve to the sex swing
Also my roomate used some of my condoms so she gave me her hummus. Great trade
Quick question. If you break the bathroom sink off the wall from fucking on it, can you claim it on your homeowner's insurance as a 'natural disaster'?
Randomize
