don't go home with that guy from jersey
i know, not worth the blood test
Walk of Shame. In a state park.
he just made me do "this little piggy" to his toes.
yeah, that's what i said too. right before i tackled that street sign.
This creepy guy was following me and i hid in the bushes. i could say i was high as an excuse but honestly it was straight up fun.
I dunno. Last time I went there I had got sexually propositioned by a Belgian prince.
Oh my Christ. I just came so hard my penis stood back up and took a bow afterwards. I need Thai food.
It's nights like those I refer to my life motto: You can't be just friends with someone after you've seen their genitals.
i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.
My tub is filled with twinkies which would be awesome if they were still wrapped and not floating in a mixture of bath water and what appears to be vomit.
hooked up with someone last night while wearing walrus pajama pants. clearly I'm accomplishing big things in life
Just please try not to piss Danny off, I really can't afford to find a new drug dealer again
So high that I just walked into class, late, sat down in my desk, and tried to buckle my seatbelt.
You need to stop leading guys on at bars - you're a lesbian.
And now I'm a lesbian with better self-esteem.
It’s a dick. Seen one, seen em all. Unless it spews a fountain of tequila, I don’t need to see yours.
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