she takes plan B like it's going out of style
Are you still giving blowjobs?
Who is this?
I love you. Thanks for all the blowjobs.
I told him to pick up the beer can he threw in front of the police station. So he gets out chugs whatever's left and throws it back and says ok let's go.
I yelled kanye while he was fucking me. It just felt right
The cop left me alone after I gave her my spare snow cone. It was a hot and humid day and that uniform looked stuffy. Yay stoner me for overindulging in icy treats.
The Universe is CLEARLY playing a bad joke on your sex life
Why does my therapist keep calling when I jerk off?
Snaps to my Ella Fitzgerald station for such a jazzy walk of shame
So you let the Viking explore your nether regions?
Drake has all the answers
Well, after a pitcher of beer, I set my ex on fire. It was a little fire, he's fine. How's your night?
You woke up in between the boxspring and the matress in a random dorm room.
All my friends are getting married and I'm pole dancing in a tattoo shop. I don't know how I feel about this.
They spent thousands on one day. You made $76 in 30 minutes. You should feel great about that.
U were so upset when the shower ruined ur nachos. I didn't kno what to do.
Randomize