Remember that time i walked in on your friend taking a huge shit?
Remember that time you hooked up with him?
On blowjobs: "If you decide to go there, you finish the job. No complaining." I don't care if it sounds like she's talking about Iraq, I'm in love.
god, you should never be in the FBI. you'd give away america's secrets to any boy who asked.
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
In all honesty of all my sexual conquests, his dick is probably my proudest moment.
Just finished putting caution tape around the tv. Sober me needs to prepare.
I'm so hungover all I can do is stare at my curser and hope it starts moving on its own
That is true. Vodka is like a dog. Always loyal, warm, and there for you when you need it
Dude. If I met a dinosaur right now. we'd totally be on the same page. Brainwaves and shit.
i want to have his babies. i NEED to. shit i wont even ask for child support, he's that goodlooking.
The sex was so boring I heard the people having sex next door and I wanted to stop just to listen
I just watched an intern spill two trays of coffee inside a spinning door
Best exit from a building ever
No one wants to start their day off with bloody lemons and a tampon in the toilet. Wtf.
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
When we started the night I was in zebra wedges & she was in my black boots... I woke up wearing pink flip flops & the mirror on my rental is fuxked up. Wtf happened last night?
Randomize
