I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
So stoned I forgot I was masturbating and went to go get a cookie.
Taking my final with a coffee mug full of keystone... best semester ever.
we need to stop having unprotected sex.
ya i know. we're like the secret life of the american whores.
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
Pretty sure I saw a dude across the room give this girl the international hand gesture for "I'm going to fist you later", she seemed ok with it.
He just "revenge puked" on her kid. I think we'll be leaving soon.
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
I may or may not be taking a bath listening to the Phantom of the Opera. This lovely moment brought to you by xanax.
I was really excited when he said that condoms didn't fit him, then he added "they fall right off"...
Well, let's see..I held him while he cried for 30-40 minutes, woke up on his couch AND he gave me a ride home in his underwear. Shit show is not even the half of it.
we're drinking bellinis i mean god's titty nectar
There's nothing quite like having a little 8 year old boy hand me a Bible on campus while I'm on my way to the health center because of my recent slutty tendencies.
First week is awesome. Freshman girls prancing around everywhere like newborn baby deer looking for a dick to jump on
Sexting my TA in lecture = awesome
Randomize
