Can i not drive my cunt home
can "i'm close!" be our safe word(s)?
oh geez, wrong person.
You taught me that having a dip while u shit is awesome. I appreciate u for that
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
promise me that when we are 32, we will look nothing like Kim Zolciak. Promise me right this instant.
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
The horrors my penis has endured I wouldn't wish upon any man.
I'm like a savant for remembering names I learned while I was drunk. Seriously, I'm three for three. I'm on a roll.
Two options. One, you listen while I freak out. Two, we have mediocre to awesome car sex and don't talk. Either way, I'll be there by 7
He spent like 5 minutes figuring out how best to position me so I would still be able to watch the game. Maybe there is a benefit to dating a guy who cares about me but doesn't care about my team.
Pretty sure this is the part where you go buy a ring.
YOU LEFT MY FUCKING BRA OUTSIDE OF YOUR HOUSE AND NEVER TEXTED ME.
OK... But I need to shower first because I'm covered in stuff I definitely shouldn't have slept in
Good news!! I can adult!! 😂 turning down the strip club on a weeknight has become my crowning achievement ðŸ˜ðŸ˜‚
Sorry I threw up all over your Lyft.
It's ok I woke up next to a dumpster.
I'm peeing on your house...you up?
Randomize
