I wish there was a classy way to show off your boobs.
But I thought everyone had breakup sex?
Ok...drunk girls at the bar are charging $1 for motorboating. It's fucking WEDNESDAY. I never want to leave.
i almost set my kitchen on fire last night. homecoming week is getting the best of me
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
I am literally the only girl who can black out and wake up pantsless and STILL be 99% sure I didn't get any.
Hungover and I may throw up in my therapist's office. Maybe he is right about my drinking
Dave used his AAA card to get my car towed to my house so I could get drunk. Evil genius.
Apparently I stole windex from the cab driver. Klepto Tom strikes again.
So this is completely apropos of nothing, but I have a feeling that a friend of mine might be a good match for you. Can I set you two up on a date? Oh, and it seems that we live a block away from each other and aren't having sexy times. This is ridiculous. By the way, there's a chance that I might be a tad drunk. Still though, there's a very *good* chance that you and Mr. X would get along.
It was Thanksgiving sex. I was thankful for it. Need I say more?
I've finally done it, I've downloaded some messenger lesbians like to use because some girl wanted to flirt.
Congrats, you're all grown up now.
I FEEL LIKE A GAY BUTTERFLY
Never play truth or dare with a girl who carries a dildo in her purse. I'll never go to a Denny's again.
I just found a reminder in my phone to ask you about your sex life in 7 years. So how is that going?
Well my normal tinder strategy of "Will I have sex with her when I'm sober" has been paying off
Randomize
