did not feel like going to store to get condoms last night so went to her pantry and got a sandwich bag and a rubberband
did it work?
nope
She went from zero to smokin in five shots
Weird shit dude, I just realized that the girl I fucked last night looks like Shaun White's twin sister. I dunno if I should be scared or turned on
I hope her Double McTwist was as good as his
You were eating microwaved pad thai out of a solo cup with a pair of scissors....
You can't use the, "think about your future" line when trying to convince me to save some weed for tomorrow.
he's only going to be home for two days, his dick is going to be in me for the whole 48 hours, he doesnt have a choice.
Your lack of great college experience of margaritas and foam parties scares me
I just had someone I don't even know on Facebook message me saying it seems like I drink too much and should slow down.
Stole a wheelchair from the hospital and rolled down the street smoking and drinking this is my weekend
I used to not like fucking fat girls but with her gut clapping against her boobs, its like a standing ovation ever time.
We were high as shit. We argued for like ten minutes about going to Dunkin Donuts and then just ended up rolling down hills. Thanks for the weed.
I can always see lesbian subplot. It's my hero ability.
im pretty sure the interns at this hospital have gotten hotter
She said I had a really great aura. Which I think is hippie code for "I bet you can give me a mind melting orgasm"
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
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