I swear it's like I have a jerk off quota I have to meet each week. If I miss three days I have a wet dream and it's like a wasted jizz, and it gets everywhereeeeeee.
I don't care what he thinks. My vagina has an open door policy.
Lets just fuck. We'll decide if it was makeup or breakup sex after.
Every time you started making out for him we all cheered for you... that's what sorority sisters do - they cheer you on when you make bad life decisions at the bar.
You know he really cares when he gives you one of those on-the-go toothbrushes for your walk of shame before running to work
If I'm going to start compromising my butthole it's going to be for much better drugs than a ventolin
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
8===D
That's the bat signal to come over and fuck me.
Are you high?
The snorkel mask makes that pretty clear
Did I fall on/off the boat yesterday? Cuz my right leg looks and feels like if it got hit by shrapnel.
you just won the triple crown of sex! your prize is more sex.
I've needed to start drinking protein shakes to keep up with her. It's like my dick just started doing crossfit.
how do you feel about japanese?
I would eat half a street meat hotdog I found on the sidewalk, I'm good with anything.
I'm on a party bus with a stripper pole with middle aged women who have all started drinking
God bless your soul.
My parents are now taking hits off a joint. Thank you.
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