He should be on Bizare Foods after who he ate last night
it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
I googled "I hate my uterus" just to make sure I wasn't the only one.
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
She cut off the top of a watermelon and is now eating it with a spoon. She's more than half done.
After the second day the hotel realized I wasn't responsible enough to have a comforter, so they took it for the rest of the trip.
WHY. COME BACK. TRAPPED WITH ROOMMATE AND FALCON. SAVE ME. I HAVE HUMMUS.
I just broke a sweat shaving my own vagina. Something has got to change.
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
I still smell like men's body wash from that drunken shower I took at that stranger's home last night.
Delete that photo of me. My ass looks WAY to good it in to be on Facebook for everyone to see. You gotta earn that shit.
Dude he downed 9 shots of tequila, sang bohemian rhapsody with 3 randoms Wayne's world style, solo'd closing time, chased the hot bartender's dog all the way to main, tackled him, carried him back, hot bar tender hugged AND kissed him, then he does a jumping heel click and leaps into my car through the window. Next rounds free at the yeti. Needless to say your little brother is a tequila god.
Basically.
That unicorn pillow pet really made sleeping with my head in the toilet a little better.
Somehow she talked me into getting my dick pierced, weird first date.
First you stole a hockey stick out of the nieghbors yard and claimed you were moses leading his children home. Then you led us around the same block twice before I called the cab
Randomize
