Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
dear roomies, would anyone wanna donate the booze they left in the fridge over break to the "your roomies snowed in and all alone" fund?
Her vagina is like Vegas. high traffic and full of glitter.
you were wandering around the street for like an hour singing "nothing but socks on"..an original you wrote after the 12th shot i believe
I don't know if it was his cologne or his Jesus hair, but he was much more fuckable than last time I saw him.
Now that I think about it, it may have been the 6 pitchers of beer.
Ok. I am hammered I will admit it but my legacy needs to live and your the only woman that could spawn satan. We need to talk.
I didnt realize how badly my legs were scratched up from power-fucking him in the bushes until kate dumped a bottle of vodka on me. that shit burnedddd
I just saw an easily 300lb shirtless man on a Vespa. My day has been simultaneously made and ruined.
All I've succeeded in doing since I saw you is drool on my shoulder
I am sending my doctor an XXXMas card thanking him for my tits!
You are hereby uninvited from future Turnt Tuesdays until further notice.
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
Isn't it funny how we're still best friends after that incident with the old lady in the bathroom
You fucking bailed on me. But I love you still
He was literally screaming at me for using the same knife to scoop the peanut butter and the jelly.
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