how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
I'm not going to fuck him in his Honda Fit. That's gay.
Homecoming wouldn't be the same without all the drunk old people puking on the street.
Did you get drunk last night? You put Christian lyrics as your fb status again.
at the hospital. he locked himself in the kitchen, said he was making beer batter shrimp. don't know if it's the mercury poisoning, alcohol poisoning or second degree burns they're holding him for, but i've got a pretty guess.
dude I'm not 100% but I think your mom is sexting me.
No, no... it's pale and surrounded by awkward, curly, red hair. It's the Ronald McDonald of penises.
i didnt have any regrets until i found out he was a freshman.... and the only reason he got into yale was because of soccer... and he wasnt premed.
So i know i shouldnt being spending random large amnts of money...but i just bought a sword.
The guy at the ER said it was the first time he's given stitches for a funneling accident. Then he seemed upset that I took pride in that...
you said you didn't want to carry the pizza box so just folded up the pizza and put it in your pocket
I found out he put two potatoes in a jar because he wants to make his own vodka.
I'm not gonna lie, my internet creeping skills scare me. I'm like Liam Neeson in Taken
My cardio is walking around the office looking for free food.
Who told you that acid and Jurassic World was a good idea?
dont remember, but I'm pretty sure I was convinced that the hybrid dinosaur was satan the whole time. It was actually very spiritual
Randomize
