he's making romantic advances towards me. and he has a pet snake. 2nd part not relevant, but interesting.
You tried to tip the paramedic for finding you.
The reason i havent seen you yet better have huge tits
we found him in the shower with a bottle of jose saying "this is Mexico's fault"
If that really is brett favre's penis, no wonder she ignored his calls
im not going to any frat parties next semester. for once i want them to think its actually hard to get in my vagina
Im drunk with people I love less than you. fix it.
Bring condoms and burritos. The rest will fall into place
I asked him why I was having sex with him in the middle of having sex. It was sufficiently awkward.
seriously, i never want to drink Robitussin again. her face was melting as i tried to convince her i wasnt high and i probably would have fucked ray. his parents thought i was a sweet charming lesbian.
This is why you are not allowed out in public.
I got drunk and slept with the guy who looks like Jesus.
Typical.
The profile of her ass is just unreal. Weird way to use profile I know, but never more accurate
If you can't accept me drawing a Santa hat on your penis then we can't be friends
let me just take this time to thank you again for buying pudding.
I would but he’s not speaking to me because I put ketchup in his socks.
Randomize
