my roommate's gf just broke up with him and hes in his room crying and listening to coldplay while beating off to pictures of her...
they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
if i die of alcohol poisoning tonight, just know i kinda expected it and totally deserved it
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
Dude, all I remember was you grabbing random girls, yelling "It's a rap video!" and pouring high-life on them.
I was tackling you out of excitement
Yeah thank goodness the stripper pole was there to break my fall.
If she's steering anything, it's a religious boat of crazy. Destination: Iceberg.
Trying to find a reliable dealer on Rockfordmugshots.com. Guy arrested for 15 grams of coke could be him !
You realize those people have been ARRESTED recently. right.
In honor of today being Sunday I am day drinking and watching Grey's Anatomy all day. ALL DAY.
Great. Now I have to produce, edit and leak a sex tape before Saturday. Fundraising is hard.
She walks around topless and loves making sandwiches. That's how a one-night stand turned intoa relationship
just discovered a semi frightening wound on the side of my head that must have happened last night. if i die of a brain aneurysm, make sure they put "sorry for partying" on my gravestone.
He made me spaghetti, gave me wine and I fucked him on the floor, Is that a fair trade of services to you?
You do realize last night you asked me if shampoo had an expiration date then cried for 15 mins when I told you it did
RICK FUCKING MORANIS!!!!!
Randomize
