I just creeped all your pictures on Facebook -- it was like I watched you grow up right before my eyes.
For a day that started with shitting my pants, things turned out fairly well.
she literally hasn't taken the mardi gras beads off in three days. she showered in them. TWICE.
This time, try to not get fingered in the middle of the living room.
I DIDNT GET FINGERED
I was rubbed
He is dust bro dust in the wind I waited in this unlocked car long enough.
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
Also, no joke, I think that raccoon hair is still in my eye from last night.
He said he could outsmoke me so I challenged him to a weed duel. I don't always very competitive but when I do...
Also my face is like def lowkey made of silly putty
Oh my god, are you sexting me while watching the Democratic debate.
100%
Now I'll never know if it was me that got you worked up, or Bernie Sanders' social policies.
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
Omg I just woke up. In the hallway outside my room. I know you had something to do with this
Btw I appreciate you as a friend for taking the time to validate my sluttiness
The neighbors ahemed the WHOLE time. Their kids are the ones that scream loud enough for me to remember my birth control. It's payback!
Apparently during my blackout I walked over to Troy, grabbed my crotch, and said “Eat Fresh” while his GF was with him. FML
Randomize
