EVERY baby cries during their baptism. It's like they know from that moment on their parents are going to make them do lame things like their first communion and stuff.
Why does everyone think all I do is drink? I go to class on wednesdays
some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
in the event i get tipsy, my nipples are your responsibility
you covered his dog in toothpaste. safe to say hes not gonna call you.
she walked out and i tried to get her to come back but i couldn't remember her name so i just whistled... future reference: that doesn't work
There's sex hanging in the air like a pinata. European people are no joke.
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
um so slept at robs. he woke up, looked at me, and said ' oh my psychiatrists are gonna have a field day with this one' I think that's when you know you can't hang out with someone anymore
Lucas & I had a photo shoot with her cape & I had child arm floaties on most the night.. woke up in a spiderman bed
You woke me up at 2 am to tell me I could pee in a golf club if I wanted to.
Masturbating during the Olympics and cumming during the national anthem really is everything it's cracked up to be. Just thought you should know.
Her handjob consisted of slapping me in the balls. I am never hooking up with her ever again ever.
How was your weekend?
My girlfriend decided the best way to get my mind off of my dog dying was to break up with me via text
Randomize
