I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
i just woke up and its 10 o'clock and the words "Robbies Fave Restraunt" and written in sharpie above my vage. Help me.
I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
Then we managed to set a grill and all 24lbs of meat on it on fire. I didn't help because I was filled with alcohol and extra flammable.
I drove to Chevron at noon and the Hatian lady goes "Oh, nothing to drink yet white boy?"
I fell asleep at the bar. And the bouncer threw a snowball at my face.
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
Hey, next time you have sex, flick his balls, and tell him "thats for getting spit in jennifer's eye and laughing about it."
sooo what's the appropriate music to listen to after you find out the dude you been fucking, is legit married with kids...what genre is that?
this mall makes me feel like I just rolled a 9 in jumanji and got the stampede card
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
Did i tell you that he's legal and i got his number? Because he's legal and i got his number. THIS BITCH AIN'T GOING TO JAIL YET
When i said i was brazilian i swear to god he started to tear up
Im sorry you'll never get the feeling of closeness when you go to pee outside and you realize you're peeing right where someone else just peed
He's the first boyfriend I wouldn't cheat on. This is a really big deal for me
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