Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo
You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
im 80% sure the guy across from me is taking pictures of my legs
she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
Im rethinking drunk tuesdays. Also rethinking ovaries.
He was passed out on the floor holding a beer can, rolled over switched hands and never spilled a drop. We need to practice.
I was trying to make tacos and friends but there was a major language barrier.
He's more than prepared to help us move. Dude brought sunscreen, cans of Coke, and Captain Morgan.
I'm going to get pregnant and die... Mean Girls warned me about this but I didn't listen
I thought since you asked to see my dick I might as well say hi
Side Note: Everyone in my office is getting engaged and having baby showers. And I'm all like, fuck your joy, I just want more string cheese in my life.
i'm so glad to be in bed i'd like to thank the acadermy
Can I just fuck someone without it basically becoming an arranged marriage
Fun fact. I just wrapped myself in wrapping paper for a sext. Is this a new high or a new low stay tuned.
Sorry I blacked out in bed
it was real late and you were brushing your teeth with miller light. it was bound to happen.
Randomize
