um i just realized that some of the people at my family reunion look inbred. thats not a good sign.
hahaha beady eyes set close together? defs inbred.
my dads cousin just put a cig in his dogs mouth and says, "look its a commercial for newport!" holy hell i hope im adopted.
I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
at one point i was feeding a guy sour cream chips and he made me make the "choo choo" noise as they were going in. \ni feel so much closer to him now.\n
We tried to break her futon, I crushed my balls instead. You have one less reason to be jealous that my balls are insanely huge and yours are not.
I mean your new thing is losing body parts and feeling colors so its not like we are hurting for entertainment
GOT MY PERIOD AND AN INTERNSHIP OFFER THIS IS A WONDERFUL DAY
i think we watched the dark knight rises after you left but i might have passed out through most of it. I remember crying at the end though. sad tears then happy tears.
I saved a sauce packet from taco bell that said "Free me" to use in my next break up.
there's crying, and people are upset, and there's a love triangle, and a broken heart, and so much estrogen
Omg. I definitely just got hit on by my doctor AFTER he completed my pap smear which clearly showed I was in the middle of an outbreak. What. The. Fuck.
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
Who the fuck puts glitter on their vagina? It’s all over my face and crotch.
Randomize
