I love him more than I love myself. Which is a lot...Because I'm narcissistic.
Showering in the handicapped shower. Im THAT hungover.
My mom's mothers day present consisted of a card, chocolate and the rose bush I threw up in as I was getting in last night. She loved it.
I'm so proud of your ability to turn my Charlie horse last night into anal sex.
he told me he expects me to keep the fangs on when i go down on him. presumptuous, yes, but man after my own heart.
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
I think the paper my teacher just handed back to me had one of his pubes on it, I'm way too hungover for this
I fell off my bed and busted open my chin on the prisoner of azkaban. Somehow missed the almost empty Jose handle next to it. So guess what I was doing last night?
Fucking holidays. How do I have this many men who want to fuck me and none of them are available when I'm ready to blow my top?
All I know, is I had green sex and beer and got driven home. That's it.
You know how I know last night was a good night? Because I remember high fiving a couple WHILE they were having sex.
He puked in the middle of it and I still wasn't disappointed.
He sent me a picture of Reese's peanut butter cups next to his dick. Of course I went over.
What can I say I sleep with 40 year old Cougars because my mother gave me away at birth and apparently that's why says my therapist
When the state fair security guard came to yell at her for having outside food and drink she threatened to kick him if he tried to stop her and then she proceeded to chug the whole bottle.
classic
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