dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes
hey bro how do you do that fake vagina thing with the tp roll? im bored.
If we break up, I want weekend visitations with your penis.
I'd like to be considered more than just his fuck buddy thanks. IVE BEEN RISKING PREGNANCY FOR SEVEN GODDAMN MONTHS I DESERVE THE TITLE OF GIRLFRIEND
i just found out the cashier has a picture of my junk in her phone.
Yes, i finally made it. but let me tell you...i can smell myself right now in class right now, this scent is called alcoholism.
Ps we ordered a pizza at the pool today and I dropped the entire thing in the pool. We still ate it. #canthang
I sent her a picture of Richard Nixon and said "these are the only dick pics I send".
Word my sister pulled through for me and brought vodka shooters for the plane. its about to be a sloppy 4 hours
Can we go to the gas station to get cigarettes before we get drunk. It's hard enough to say Marlboro sober.
I haven't had an orgasm since 2014. So you cam see why I'm having a bad year.
We were right in the middle of sex and all of a sudden his kids toy story action figure starts talking "I think the word your searching for is Space Ranger." A literal Buzz kill. It was equally creepy and hilarious.
Hey before you quit, let me sell drugs to your boss at least one more time
Randomize