Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
Taking jello shots out of a big bowl from a measuring spoon. holla atcha boy.
you inspire me to be a worse person
I called for backup and had two guys carry him to the shower. The bigger guy offered to wash his hair.
Apparently I texted my high school english teacher asking her to tell me what logical fallacies she taught us three years ago.
He called himself Jesus all night but I'm not sure if that's his real name or not
So much rum. So many feels.
I realize designer coke was a douchey thing to say but the point of the story is I did bath salts
He just texted me a video of him jerking off. He must really be looking forward to the Super Bowl.
this is a save-me-from-tijuana-tequila-and-hoookers booty call. if i don't hear from you by 8pm i'm grabbing my passport
if i'm not back tomorrow call the embassy
It's official. My little brother has had more sex in my car than I have. I'm still tied with my little sister. I hate everybody.
I snuck a teenager into a club last nite, I felt like such a criminal. It was Awsome
I threw up soo much that I started crying. Then his grandma randomly came in and started rubbing my back...
Just bedazzled a flask, while drinking out of it. Hot glue is EVERYWHERE.
The only good thing about being back at work is supply room boom boom with my office husband
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