your room smells of hookers.
And success
I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books.
i just realized that im half way to my goal of puking in every single toilet on our floor
He skyped me to learn how to roll a joint and for us to masturbate together. And you said a long distance relationship wouldn't work.
Hah, I lost the lenses in my glasses, didn't event notice til this morning... How was the meeting?
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
decision: in honor of being in new orleans this weekend all my drunk texts will be en francais
There is a homeless man handing out free beer on the city bus. He has a cooler and everything. I love this trashy yet generous city.
He drew a bath for me. It was only cute until he started throwing in celery and calling me soup.
I don't care how stoned you are, I'm not driving to a different state for a burrito
Happy 420. I woke up to a girl smoking weed and dragging me out of bed. Chemistry makes so much sense high.
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
dropping lines from Workaholics has slowly become my icebreaker when hitting on girls. who would have thought "lets get weird" would cause girls to actually get weird
Even my conscience is telling me to take this Wednesday's exam buzzed.
I tied him up for his boyfriend so he could get fisted... I'm the best roommate ever.
Wow. That's certainly more than I've ever done for a roommate.
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