Fine. I'll sleep in my office
I think im pregnant
I think you have the wrong number
p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
Are you still giving blowjobs?
Who is this?
when "blow-job jen" drunk dials you at 3 in the morning, you answer
OK am i seriously the only one who thinks Cocaine Tuesdays is a bad idea?
It'd be a romantic, consensual abduction
My goal for tonight is to swipe my debit card through those weird rolls on the back of a big bald guy's head.
Look on the bright side, one day you will get to tell your grandkids how grandpappy got roofied on his 21st and woke up in a for sale house missing his shoes
tom claimed she had a star tattooed around her buttonhole. i am not prepared for this era of skankyness
Woke up this morning with Nerf Bullets stuck to everything in my house and nut in my belly button. What exactly happened last night?
I've sold more douches working here than one man should sell in a lifetime
He called me dainty, then fucked me like the Viking God he is.
She really wants to put my dick in her mouth, and to be honest I really don't want to put it there.
I need my comforter. Pls bring it to me and drape me in it like an animal pelt. Ps I'm naked.
Randomize
